Female DefinitionsArgument - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead - What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Barbecue - You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes - Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe - Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer - An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda - A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity - The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise - To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List - What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hairdresser - Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store - Similar to a black hole in space. If he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth - You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe...push..."
Lipstick - On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear.
Park - Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience - The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara - Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day - A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.