Ned Flanders Quotes

Sorry is not just the most exciting board game ever devised, it's a word I need to hear from you!

You're never bored painting the Lord!

Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water?

If gambling is OK, then I'm getting health insurance for the kids!

Did a volcano erupt in Candyland? ‘Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot!

Bart Simpson? Why, he lives right next door to me. Yeah, when they made him, they did not skimp on the puppy dog tails.

Homer? Yeah, he’s the peanut in your popcorn.

You know, I wouldn’t mind Homer lying naked in his hammock, but does he have to string it up higher than the fence line?

We've pulled more plugs than a Dutch doctor!

What a rush! That got my blood pumping in a way I thought only quiet reflection could! Fizzy water for everyone!

I’m afraid my Maudie is putting plastic on the clouds now.

The Leftorium? We’ve been the anchor store in the sad mall for the last ten years.

Thank you for taking me to that Pinkberry place. It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe.

Springfield is cleaner than the Lord's hand towels!

Whoa, slow down! I never go to second entendre on the first date!

You’ll find I’m well worth the wait. Like a mild cheddar, I get tangy when I’m sitting on a shelf.

Oh, what the heck! I know it’s impolite to make a move ’til episode 25 of a Ken Burns’ documentary, but you're that special!

I got two teens in a public park going at it like a couple of gibbons in the back seat of Noah's ark!

I remember what it was like to have a sweet woman of my own, lying in a twin bed across the hall from mine.

Like any man, I put on my secret Christian underpants one leg at a time.

Call me Delta Airlines ‘cause I can’t handle your extra baggage!

I sure don’t like to babble on, but I sure do like Babylon!

That sounds salty, but you seem sweet! I’m gonna call you “Kettle Corn”!

Sour ball, take me away!

Those three ginger ales at the casino - I didn't declare them on my taxes!