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School Excuses from Parents #1

Just the way the parents wrote them.

My son is under a doctor's care and shouldn't take PE today. Please execute him. (thanks to Delores Maldeos)

Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time.

Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard.

Please excuse my son from being absent yesterday, because there is a river in our house.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrheea and his boots leak.

Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting.

Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, so I had her shot.

Please exscuse John from being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home.

Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday. He had the fuel.

John has been absent from school because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday.

Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was.

Chris will not be in school today cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse my daughter's absence. She had her periodicals.

Please excuse my son. He will be out next week slaughtering goats for his manhood ritual. Thank you!

Please excuse Ray from school Friday. He had very loose vowels.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.