Insults 5

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

He's been working with glue too much.

He would argue with a signpost.

He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

He's a couple of bricks short of a hod.

He's a couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core.

His jogging trail doesn't go all the way around the lake.

He left the store without all of his groceries.

He's missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in her silo.

He's not the quickest bunny in the forest.

She's one song short of a musical.

She's so ugly it looks like her face caught on fire and she tried to put it out with a screwdriver. (thanks to Joel)

Her slinky is kinked.

Some M and Ms are missing from her bowl.

He's strong like bull, smart like streetcar.