Interesting Quotes 12

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Dolly Parton

Dog is God spelled backwards. That means something, I'm just not sure what exactly, but human is numah spelled backwards. - Marc-Christophe

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms? - George Carlin

According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does. - Conan O'Brien

All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. - Ellen DeGeneres

Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance? - Phyllis Diller

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language. - Caroline Rhea

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. - Albert Einstein

Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. - Martin Mull

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don’t put off that mammogram." - Rita Rudner

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx

I don't think my family liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. - Janeane Garofalo

The word 'genius' isn't applcable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Theismann (thanks to Bob Morse)

Whenever you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. - Harry S. Truman