Mitch Hedberg
World's Funniest Joke
Wiki-PIE-dia
Acronyms
Workers' Comp
Air Traffic Controllers
Andy Rooney
Bad Analogies
Bad Literature
Baseball Injuries
Business Facts
Lessons of Children
Children's Books
Chris Berman
Shortest Books
Daffynitions
Bumper Stickers
Jerry Coleman
College
Cute Jokes
Computer Tech Calls
Doctor's Reports
Giving Pets Pills
Dog Training
Points of View
Cat Memory
Dog Memory
Drunk?
Einstein Quotes
Elevator Fun
Etch-A-Sketch
Palindromes
Pickup Lines
Fired
Fried Rice Recipe
Funny or Not?
True Facts
Health Facts
Real Facts
NOT Real Facts
Fortune Cookie Prank
Gender Specific
Great To Be Alive
Guy Walks Into A Bar
Computer Haiku
Not Hallmark
Headlines
Henny Youngman
Hollywood Squares
Homer Simpson
Huh?
Human Body Facts
In-flight Humor
Insanity Helpers
Insults
Math Lessons
Stories
Stages of Life
Bad Resumes
Yes, these are real.
Get Off the Table, Mabel (the $2 is for the Beer)
I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?
I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me
I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed While I Cry Over You (thanks to Don Fortier)
I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart
It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
I Slipped and Fell in Love (thanks to Anne W)
Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
Hair in My Eyes Like a Highland Steer (thanks to Anne W)
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
My Give-A-Damn's Busted (thanks to Anne W)
If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen
If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off (thanks to Anne W)
All My Exes Live in Texas
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (thanks to Anne W)
Saddle Up the Stove, Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight
I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me
Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of your Heart?
If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me Not Calling You Up
All the Guys Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
(Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill
Peel Me a Nanner
I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes, As Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus (Sittin' on the Dashboard of My Car)
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
If Love Were Oil, I'd be a Quart Low
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart was Pure
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
I Kissed Her on the Lips, and Left Her Behind for You
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It.
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with A Spade
Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
You're A Cross I Can't Bear
At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)
I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?
Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?
You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
I Sat Down On a Beartrap (Just This Morning)
I Sent Her Artificial Flowers For Her Artificial Love
Mama, Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond And She Clubbed Me With a Spade
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms
If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
Are You Drinkin' with Me, Jesus?
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
I Hate Every Bone in Your Body (Except Mine)
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
Your Negligee Has Turned To a Flannel Nightgown
You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off
You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to Blue
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
Do You Love As Good As You Look
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
Who's Makin' Time with the Time Keeper's Daughter, when the Time Keeper's Keepin' Time?
When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
All I Want From You is Away
My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You
You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
And There was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On
How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You
Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk
You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft
Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You're Going Against the Grain
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
Don't Chop Any Wood, Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load
If You Don't Leave Me Alone I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
Bubba Shot the Jukebox
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.
There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit of the Looms to Hold All My Lovin' for You
Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night it Was Honor and Offer
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
Thanks To the Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
They May Put Me In Prison But They Can't Stop My Face From Breaking Out
© 2010 compiled from many sources by Howard Daughters
Bad Newspaper
Bad Restaurant
Good YouTube Vids
Good Websites
English Language
Insurance Stories
Interview Fun
One Liners
Learn This!
Real Acronyms
Light Bulbs
Not A Kid Anymore
Wrong Lyrics
Experience
Mall Facts
Answering Machines
Men's Rules
American Barbecue
Men vs. Women
Never
The Odds
The Real Odds
Are You Old?
Oxymorons
How To Change Oil
Politically Correct
Pool Ball
Pregnant Men
Company Christmas Party
Proverbs
Puns
Yum! Quesadillas!
Famous Quotes
Rita Rudner
Science Fun
Yogi Berra
Signs
School Excuses
Snow Shoveler
Country Songs
State Mottos
Stir Fry Recipe
Telemarketers
Crisis Thoughts
Teen Poverty
Wal-Mart Fun
Sick Employees
What Women Say
What Women Want
Why?
The Woman's Code
Women Employees
Work Thoughts
Ralph Wiggum
Employee Handbook
Strange Gifts
Welfare Stories
Steven Wright
Funny2 Philosophy