Homer Simpson Quotes 5

Let us celebrate this agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Aw, sweetie, don't worry! I'm going to come back so horny and angry!

We're gonna get a new TV. Twenty-one inch screen, realistic flesh tones, and a little cart so we can wheel it into the dining room on holidays!

First you don't want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!

Oh, they have Internet on computers now.

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.

That sucker soaks up flattery like a twinkie soaks up gravy!

Well, at least I'll die the American way: in a foreign country, wearing short pants!

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not America!

Well, the toaster's never lied to me before!

Have you forgotten what you promised at our wedding? To love and cherish, to aid and abet?

Hello, boat store? I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean, DIAL TONE?

Help me, God! What is it I'm paying you for every Sunday?

The Fourth of July is the one day a year when our city puts on her high heels and tube top, and leans into America's car window!

Breakfast in bed is so much better than breakfast in a chair!

Marge, if you were married to DaVinci, you wouldn't tell him not to DaVinc!

Pack your winter coat! We're going to Canada's warmest city!

Kettle corn: the heroin of the farmer's market.

Hmmm. The French have gotten into the wine game? Good luck catching up with the big boys!

Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me?

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. See ya soon!

Remember how you wanted me to get that expensive operation? Well, now I can afford a motorcycle!