Insanity Helpers 3

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"