Interesting Quotes #8
A nice collection.
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody." - Garry Shandling
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain
Men look at women the way men look at cars... Everyone looks at Ferraris. Now and then we like a pickup truck, and we all buy station wagons... - Tim Allen
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know... Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfield
If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight. - Rita Rudner
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. - Tim Allen
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote." - Jay Leno
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers! - Jay Leno
I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see it shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. - Tim Allen
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in. - Rita Rudner
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby
When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future. - Bernard Meltzer
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. - John Lithgow
Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. - Francoise Sagan
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